Weekend: The Story Behind the Nickname

One of the things I’ve learned at CrossFit Vancouver is the importance of nicknames. I have a few of them. I resisted a couple of my nicknames (Eunice, Hulkamania, Babe Ruth) for a while. But I soon discovered that I would be better off just accepting the names, however unflattering they might have seemed when they were first muttered aloud to my face. In fact, once I accepted, and even embraced the nicknames, I started to feel loved (even if I had been named after a fat baseball player and a male WWE star from the 1990s). I mean, five nicknames? How can I not feel loved?

A couple weeks ago, I realized that so much of the nicknaming process depends on how the person interprets the name. On New Year’s Eve, I handed out a nickname to Jen Farr. The name: ‘SPCA,’ which has now become ‘The Pound Pup.’

“You’re like an innocent little puppy looking for a home,” I said. Her response was, “Oh my God, that’s so mean. You’re calling me desperate and pathetic.” (Interesting how I chose the word ‘innocent,’ but what she heard was ‘desperate’ and ‘pathetic.’ I knew at that moment that the nickname would stick).

At CrossFit Van, nicknames are so prolific that sometimes months go by before you learn someone’s real name.
And behind each name is a good story.

Here are a few of them:

Shelley ‘Cabbage Patch Cree.’

In Shelley’s words: “At B and Mikes wedding, I was sitting in front of Patty and Pup. Patty was looking at me muttering, “Shelley needs a nickname. What does Shelley look like? She looks like a CABBAGE PATCH!.” Then pup leans over and whispers “Cabbage Patch CREE.” And that was that.”

(Shelley’s background is Cree/Metis. She didn’t get electricity until she was 14. “That summer, we made a lot of toast,” said Shelley).

Kelly ‘Dashound’

In Kelly’s words: “Does mine really need any explanation? Long torso, short legs, otherwise known as a Ratcatcher!”

Sebastian ‘Dexter’

During his personal training, Sebastian was quiet and reserved. All I really knew about him was that he did the Grouse Grind 14 times in one day (he still holds the record for the most Grouse Grinds in one day). I couldn’t help but think that a guy who does the Grouse Grind 14 times in one day must be slightly pathologically crazy. Maybe he even has a secret life as a serial killer. He has become commonly known as Dexter.

Dan ‘The Afghan’

In Dan’s own words: “Afghan: For my likeness to the Afghanny opium farmer. And, because Patty is a racist,” he joked.

Jesse ‘The Jew’

Jesse in a skinnier time.

In Jesse’s own words: “The Jew: Because I am a Jew. Not Patty’s most creative piece.”

Saturday:

Tech: Deadlift (3, 3, 3, 3, 3)

WOD: Box Jumping Sasquatch

21, 18, 15, 12, 9, 6, 3

SDHP (75/55)
Box Jumps

Sunday:

Make up Day

If you haven’t done the 10 by 10 OHS yet this week, make this a priority.

– Eunice