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During a touring galavant, outside of Central Station (Amsterdam), I noticed what looked like an open roofed bicycle storage facility; it turned out to be a 3 story bike lock, filled with hundreds of bikes. This 2-wheeled form of transportation seemed to dominate the entire city; there were bike lanes, no lanes, racks, locks, cyclists of the old, the young, the dumb, the classy, and the bold. Sure, some residents had cars; but it wasn’t like the city was automobile short-commute friendly. The cab drivers were about as useful as West Van Persians are as datable; mostly stationary, they hung about in their Mercedes, over-dressed, offering absurd fares, and the utmost of creepy experiences to the touring public. With the city dripping with culture and cute interwoven canals; this place was built to bike. The biggest hill was a canal overpass. There are 2 problems facing Vancouver’s cycling future:

 

Bad driver, bad cycler: Idiots of the same cloth.

 10th Avenue will be the death of them; and rightfully so. I like me some Buy-Low shopping week to week; it’s about 2 ½ blocks from my apartment building. I’m never concerned of being struck by a 2-4 thousand pound mechanical triumph of engineering; I’m looking out for 150-250lb boner who decides to blow through a stop sign, because Kingsway traffic had a red light. It’s not even some rare douche that does this, it’s almost every single one of the 2-wheelin’ weiner brigade. You can imagine the avenging satisfaction that burst through my soul, when a motorcycle Police Officer, hung about that intersection one night to hand out tickets; remember how you fail your drivers exam after a “rolling stop” at a stop sign. They like to believe they fall into this grey area between automobile and a pedestrian law. Unfortunately that just breeds more than one enemy; the enemy of my enemy, is my friend. Pedestrians and drivers are not exempt from idiocy; however, I have every reason to throw rotten fruit at your loser cruiser. Based on physics and all around craftiness, you lose; 9 times out of 10. 9 times out of 10! Use your road sense.

 

Cheverolet Camaro + Driver 4900lbs

-Vintage Apollo + Cycler 200lbs

4700lbs that says the supposed right-of-way doesn’t mean shit.

 

Grow up: Helmet laws are for children. 

This law has been grinding my gears for years. I’m not going to tell my client to stop smoking; I hope the fact they’re a grown up, leads us to not have that conversation. This is one of the biggest issues preventing integration of bike-share programs. Melbourne and Brisbane both showed significant drops in usage, despite the fact that the state offered free helmet sharing (ew, gross, it’s like wearing a used condom). This city ends up looking like the kid with head gear in your 4th grade class; was that really necessary mom? There is very little statistical linkage between hospital admissions and helmet use. Well, it’s a “preventative measure”; bologna, it is, at best, an “injury-mitigation measure” (B.C. Prof. Kay Teschke). Prevent the crash from happening in the first place, as when it does happen, it’s not just head trauma. So now we should wear armoured leotards, and kevlar leggings; aren’t there enough moose nuckle fashions in the cycling world?

 

And for that dingus commuting along Main Street on your unicycle…

 

…did you lose your circus? Come on!

Chesty

 

Monday Lesson Plan

W/U: Coaches Choice

TECH: 3×3 Deadlift

WOD: ‘Cindy’
As Many Rounds As Possible in 20 Minutes
5 Pull Ups
10 PushUps
15 Squats

-CFP


12 Comments

  1. Give way! To the Chest

  2. Fine. Then subsitute "rolling stop law - good" with "stopping law - good". It's the same thesis.

    I always thought you were a 'give way' type of guy!

  3. Wendy,

    Actual thesis:

    Rolling stop is not a law, stopping is.

    (Rolling is minimal, blowing through is excessive)

    Helmets are like cigarettes.

    Aussies can stay in Whistler. I'm more of a Kiwi guy anyways.

    By Chesty September 23, 2014
  4. Hi Chesty - this is your friendly neighbourhood Al Jazeera responding.

    If this is your thesis:

    Helmet law - bad - because the Aussies said so.

    Rolling stop law - good - because a Camaro weighs more than a bike.

    ...then consider this: Queensland's parliamentary committee on Cycling has recommended that their Minister for Transport and Main Roads amend relevant Queensland road rules to allow for a ‘rolling stop’ rule which permits cyclists to treat stop signs as give way signs where it is safe to do so.

    AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!!! OY! OY! OY!

  5. Reto I am in!!!!!!!

  6. more on this topic:

    "...there is an evolutionary pressure pushing motorists towards hatred of cyclists. Deep within the human psyche, fostered there because it helps us co-ordinate with strangers and so build the global society that is a hallmark of our species, is an anger at people who break the rules, who take the benefits without contributing to the cost. And cyclists trigger this anger when they use the roads but don't follow the same rules as cars."

    http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20130212-why-you-really-hate-cyclists

    Bottom line: more cyclists = good for everyone, but there is an evolutionary bias towards hating cyclists, so the bike lane debate will continue to rage needlessly.

  7. I think you should be able to blow through stop signs and not wear helmets as long as you pass an Advanced Urban Cyclist test. Cyclists that know what they are doing pose insignificant risk to either pedestrians or motorists. The problem is lycra-clad noob commuters on bike to work week.

    In fact, I'm going to commence a Madlab specialty program - East Van Advanced Urban Cycling club. If you graduate you get a fancy Advanced Urban Cycler licence that you can flash to any cop that pulls you over, whereby they must let you off with a warning. Any takers?

  8. Blowing through stop signs is essentially the only efficient way to steal a bike. Bike theft restores a healthy balance to sustainable driving in this city.

  9. Rolling through stop signs is essentially the only efficient way to travel by bike. Is it risky? For sure. Would a cyclist lose in an accident with a car? Yup. But making a full stop at every stop sign would be like doing Cindy with single pull-ups, every time you get going you have to come to a grinding stop. That's no fun at all. Giving out tickets to cyclists with the same as penalty as vehicle infractions is ridiculous. That cop should be doing something to actually promote healthy, sustainable transport in this city- like cracking down on bike theft!

  10. Cyclists to me are what rickshaws are to Jerry Seinfeld. He pointed out sarcastically: "Yes. The city needs more slow-moving wicker vehicles."

    By Eunice September 21, 2014
  11. Dude. Unicycle man is awesome. I assume you're only picking on him because you're jealous. Unless, of course, you are secretly capable of riding unicycles and merely choose not to because... um... well, I can't think of a single good reason why you wouldn't ride a unicycle every damn day, if you had those mad skillz.

  12. Fuck yeah Cindy!!

    By Cabana Boy September 21, 2014

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