Blog Archive

One of Patty’s favourite things to do is talk about global warming – to reject climate change as a theory, to reduce it to mere conjecture, or hypothesis at best. He puts it one the same level as the hypothesis, ‘The moon is made of cheese.’

After much thought, I have a hypothesis of my own. Will you help me determine whether this hypothesis is sound enough to be considered a theory?

The theory (and I’ll add the famous Seinfeld ‘not that there’s anything wrong with that‘ line to this just to make sure I don’t get blasted):

Poker prefers men over women.

Putting the puzzle pieces together:

1. His girlfriend conveniently lives three hours away, and she’s stronger than he is.

2. He often initiates unprompted ‘Pants Off’ parties.

3. He has an alter ego named Sebastian (Sebastian is the one who advocates the ‘Pants Off’ parties).

4. Have you ever heard the music he plays in his car? He was recently caught saying, “I don’t care what you think about this: I love Adele.”

5. Have you seen the ‘work’ clothes he shows up wearing everyday?

Watch this video and determine for yourself. Does Poker like men? (Not that there would be anything wrong with that).

We love you, Poker.

Friday’s WOD: ‘How gutsy are you?’

Tech: Spend 20 minutes working on a weakness. Shoulder flexibility? Double Unders? Handstands? Squat therapy? Everyone needs extra work on something…

WOD: Max Wall Balls (Partner up for this one. You’re going to want something there to cheer you on as you start to see stars).

This is going to come down to guts, pure and simple. Can anyone do an entire Karen (150 wall balls) unbroken? Or even 100 wall balls without a rest? Push yourself as much or as little as you like, but you’ll kick yourself after if you wimp out and stop just because your heart rate is a little high. I did 80 in a row once, and the Duke came up right after me and did 81. I was kicking myself all night for stopping just because I was a little winded.

Eunice

I’m sure everyone has noticed that the coaches’ office is now upstairs, taken over by the green and black that is TrainingFX.

And most have you have probably even seen the man who runs the little joint in the corner, Anthony ‘No Tone’ King.

But it seems most of you don’t have a clue what he’s up to in there.

Students ask me all the time, ‘What’s his story? What exactly does he do in there? Why is he never here to make me a latte with that cappuccino machine he is hoarding in there?’

Here’s his story:

I’m going to be honest; when I met the guy I thought he was a bullshitter. Whenever there was a conversation going on, No Tone would ring in with some kind of anecdote. No matter what the topic was, No Tone had an answer. I could only assume he was one of those people who thought they knew everything.

But as time went on, I realized that he actually does have an answer for everything. And I’m not just talking in the realm of cycling, compression gear, and barefoot shoes.

Once, I was having car problems. No Tone chimed in, and the issue was fixed. A problem with the wireless network. Enter No Tone. Problem solved. Achilles rupture, landlord-tenant board drama, paint removal, city bylaws: No Tone to the rescue, over and over again.

Quite simply, No Tone is the guy who can answer the question: ‘How do I get gum out of my hair?’

The progression of No Tone:

No Tone read a book a day as an eight year old. By the age of ten, he had torn through his aunt’s 24-volume encyclopedia set and was a regular public speaker at the local Anglican church. An avid singer, No Tone was recruited in elementary school by a prestigious music school in Toronto (St. Michael’s Choir School) after someone heard him sing O’Canada.

As for athletics, by high school, No Tone was an martial artist with expertise in Aikido, Karate and Judo, and an accomplished cyclist and skier. He also dabbled in spring and platform diving.

When he reached university age, his school of choice was Ryerson University. He studied human physiology first, and eventually electrical engineering. While in university, No Tone spent very little time studying. Instead, he was too busy learning how to play the snare drum, a skill he put to use when he served as a Lieutenant with the Canadian military.

After university, No Tone worked an extremely lucrative career in IT. But he was bored. His passion in life was to read and research. “I hate being manipulated by ignorance,” he explained. So to avoid this, No Tone has made it his business to eliminate all potential for ignorance.

This has led to his extremely well-rounded knowledge base. No Tone is an astronomy buff and computer nerd. He can play the violin, piano, guitar, and he blends his own teas. On a Sunday night, No Tone can be found at Raw Canvas painting a picture to hang on his wall. As he paints, and sips wine, you might find him conversing in either French or Spanish. He is deceptively one of our top male CrossFitters here at CrossFit Van. Check out the leaderboard: No Tone is consistently near the top every night. He calls his sexual practices “obscure,” although Patty is convinced No Tone hasn’t had sex in a decade. No Tone is also a proficient sailor and has flown gliders, and he’s a graduate of the International Sommelier Guild, making him an expert wine steward.

Let’s put it this way: If you’re ever on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire and have to phone a friend for help, make sure No Tone’s number is programmed into your phone!

No Tone and You

In his little store in the corner:

No Tone, who spends his days researching products, sells only products that work. Supplements, heart rate monitors, fish oil, compression gear, footware – when it comes to health and lifestyle, No Tone has the best products on the market.

As a Fit Expert, he’ll fit your bike for you, or your feet. A proponent of the barefoot shoe, No Tone sells Vivo Barefoot footware. He also sells 2XU compression gear: socks, tights, and calf guards. And recently, he started selling food from Organic Lives: granola, dried kale chips, and flavoured almonds.

He’s also managing the CF Van store for us, so if you want a t-shirt, or fish oil, or tape for your hands, No Tone is your man.

Visit his website for more details TRAININGFX

Thursday:

Warm-up: 1 mile run

WOD: Deadlift and Bench Press

5,5,3,3,2,2,1,1 of each (back and forth)

Leaderboard: Max bench plus max deadlift divided by your bodyweight

EUNICE

Recognize this woman??

The beautiful Icelandic sensation, Essy,  started dancing in Iceland at the age of 9. When she was just 16 years old, she moved to London, where she trained and competed as a professional Latin dancer for another 9 years.

She was a top ranked international dancer for many years, winning medals at international competitions, such as World and European Championships, throughout her career.

Over the years, she taught dance to others in Iceland, Malaysia, Hong Kong, South Africa, Switzerland, and Canada.

This November, the currently pregnant Essy is hosting a 5-week Friday night latin dance class at CrossFit Vancouver.

The Dates:

November 4th, 11th, 18th, 25th, and December 2nd (five consecutive Friday nights from 7-8 pm)

Cost:

$75 for all five sessions. It will be worth your while to sign up even if you can only make three or four classes. The sessions are continuous, so it’s cool if you miss the first week and start on week two.

Women and men are welcome, and you don’t have to come with a partner. However, there’s a special couples rate if you come as a pair ($100).

Sign-up sheet will go up at CrossFit Vancouver this week.

ALSO, just a reminder: As of today, Wednesday’s 7 pm class is now a stretch therapy class with Giselle.

You must have done either the intro stretch class or an individual stretching session to attend. If you want to start attending the group stretch class, book a one on one session with Giselle soon: [email protected]

WOD:

Tech: Bar Muscle ups

Here’s a video showing different ways to get your hips to the bar, including a band option for a progression.

WORKOUT: 90 Seconds Maxes – Partner up and count for each other

1. 90 seconds of max bar muscle ups (If you can’t do one, and can’t do one in a band, do either chest to bar pull ups or pull ups. 3 progressions = 1 bar muscle up)

REST AS NEEDED (at least 3 minutes)

2. 90 seconds max alternating pistols

REST AS NEEDED

3. 90 seconds max burpees (flopping burpees)

REST AS NEEDED

4. 90 seconds max sit-ups

REST AS NEEDED

5. 90 seconds max. rope climbs (3 progressions = 1 rope climb)

Score is your total amount of reps for all five movements.

EUNICE

It’s amazing how time flies.

Jenny ‘The Bus’ Scott has been at CrossFit Vancouver for two years. It’s been quite the ride for this PhD student. We’ve seen her at her best, and we’ve seen her in times of turmoil, but most of all we’ve seen her grow into an even more amazing young woman.

Here’s a tribute to the Bus, who recently re-tested her first day to see how much she has improved since she showed up “looking like a coat hanger,” as Andy Sack put it.

Happy Two Year, Jenny.

This video can also be seen on WODHOG

Tuesday

Warm-up: Tabata Double Unders

Tech: Power Cleans: Find a 3 rep. max (3 reps without dropping the bar)

*Work on the hook grip, as this workout is going to come down to grip strength

WOD: Power Clean Elizabeth

21-15-9

Power Cleans (135/95)
Ring Dips

EUNICE

1. Shameless Self-Promotion:

A wise man once told me that if you’re not offending 20% of the population (arguably the bottom 20%), then you’re doing something wrong.

In this CrossFit Journal story I wrote – When Murph Met Cindy – I appear to have struck a chord with some readers. My first instinct was to be offended that they were offended, as this story was meant purely for humour. But then I realized that as a journalist, I should take this as a compliment: the more people who read, the more people who become emotional when they read, the more people who comment, the more controversy I can stir up, the better.

A bunch of you told me they were recently bumped off their Journal subscription, so here’s a pdf of the journal story: When Murph Met Cindy

Who is offended?

2. Monday: Front Squat Fever

Warm-up: 10 minute squat (Sit at the bottom of your squat for 10 minutes). Get your hips open.

Tech: Front Squats/Glute Ham Raises

3-5 heavy sets of 3 front squats. In between sets, hit up the GH machine for 8-10 glute ham raises (use bands if you need to).

WOD: 5 Front Squats every minute on the minute for 15 mins

-You must clean your first front squat (no racks)

-Choose your own load: I did this workout last week with 60% of my max front squat. It was TOUGH to complete! I wouldn’t recommend going much higher than 60% of your max. We just did a max front squat two weeks ago, so hopefully everyone has an idea where their front squat is at.

– Leaderboard is heaviest load (must complete all 15 rounds)

EUNICE

The top probiotic foods you are not eating

Weekend Double Post

Saturday’s Workout:

In 3 min
Sprint Run/Row 400m + AMRAP Push Press (115/80lbs)
Rest 3 min
3 Rounds

Score total amount of Push Press reps

Sunday’s Warm Up:

Bottom to Bottom Tabata Squats

Sunday’s Skill Tech Element:

Coaches Choice

Sunday’s Workout:

Dirty 30
30 Squats
30 Sit Ups
30 KB Swings
30 Box Jumps
30 Burpees
30 Wall Balls

Compare this to the first time you did this work out (for most of us that will be somewhere between day 5 and day 9 at Crossfit Vancouver)

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To learn more about this workshop – click here >>>

Today’s Skill Tech Element:

Heavy (not max) Squat Cleans 2, 2, 2, 2

Today’s Workout:

20 Squat Clean Thrusters (135/95 lbs)
50 Burpees

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CrossFit has often been criticized for being too hard on our bodies. And if you treat everyday like a competition day, where you push yourself until you’re half dead lying in a heap of sweat and vomit, the criticisms have merit.

We’ve all been there – addicted to the rush that comes from crushing a WOD. We push and push. We overtrain. And then we get injured. Sigh. Shoulder injuries, for one, have caused many a CrossFitter to take more time off than they’d like.

But we’ve become wiser. We’ve learned our lessons. Rest, mobility and stretching are just as important and getting a personal best Helen score.

So, Giselle Nagy, owner of Cocoon Wellness (the beautiful Hungarian bombshell who now has her own stretch therapy and massage room at the school) is going to be hosting weekly stretch therapy classes at CF Van. Sidenote: she also happens to give the most powerful and therapeutic massage in the city!

People who have worked with her have seen huge improvements. Pete PBI Bell Irving, for one. When he arrived at CF Van a few years ago, he could barely overhead squat the stick. In the last couple years, his shoulder flexibility has improved dramatically to the point where the last time I checked, he had a 185-pound overhead squat.

Andy Sack also credits Giselle with having single-handedly healed a back injury he had before a big CrossFit competition a couple years ago when he was still in his prime

On top of the twice weekly stretch therapy classes, every new student who does personal training at CF Van will do a one on one stretch therapy session with Giselle before graduating to classes. 

Please note: it’s a pre-requisite to attend the iCocoon Stretch Therapy Intro within one year from your first class day (repeat for $30) . If you cant not attend the next iCST-Intro be sure to book in a Private Session with Giselle prior to your first Stretch Therapy Class.

Classes:

Wednesday night’s 7 pm CrossFit classes are now Stretch Therapy classes. Starting next week!

If you can’t make Wednesday night, there will be a second class on Saturdays.

Stretch Therapy Classes:

Wednesdays 7-8 PM
Saturdays 12:30-1:30 PM

Cost:

One Session: $20
Four Sessions: $70
Ten Sessions: $130
iCST-Intro Private Session: $70

*Fees include 12% HST.  Please pay before classes . We accept cheque or cash.

Contact Giselle for more info: [email protected]
Visit Cocoon Wellness’ website for more details about stretch therapy.

why bacon is a gateway to meat for vegetarians

Today’s Skill Tech Element:
Box Squat 2 reps, 10 sets @ approx 50-55% of your max back squat
2 to 3 peeps to a rack. Aim to start a new set every minute on the minute

Today’s Workout:
Run The Opera building loop
16 KB Swings
16 Box Jumps
4 Rounds

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